We’re in the last two days of December and it seems that just about everyone is looking forward to saying Goodbye to 2016 and ready to welcome 2017 with open arms and all the possibilities that it can bring. For me, 2016 was a big year of personal growth, forgiveness, acceptance and letting go of all that my 30’s brought me as I said Hello to a new decade and approach my 40’s with all that I’ve learned to this point. All of my lessons were accompanied by tears, broken hearts, struggle, resistance and disappointment but also there was lots of joy, laughs, love and hope mixed in there. You cannot become what you’re meant to be without all that mess. It makes you stronger. It helps you unbecome all that you are and really weren’t supposed to be. The mess helps you become more authentic and surrender to all that you were born to be. If you fight the mess, you’re only prolonging the mess and letting it snowball into a complete disaster which will inevitably lead to a mental breakdown, so you might as well just go with it. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about.
So for 2017, I have put together a list of what I wish for myself and all of you. I hope you take them all into consideration.
- Forgive Yourself and Forgive Others.
Ok, you may want to sit down for this but I need to share something with you. Ready?? YOU. ARE. NOT. PERFECT. I know, I know…this came as a shock to me as well. I wanted to believe I was for so long. However, it was liberating to admit that I wasn’t and to forgive myself for not being perfect and for my shortcomings. BUT, you have to own it. Say the words, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” Say it to the kids after losing your shit during a hectic morning . Admit to your husband, maybe you were a little more sensitive than usual and over-reacted. I have never lost my shit with my kids or over-reacted with my husband, but if I had I would own that 100%. (Please tell me you’re picking up on that sarcasm by now…)
Now just as you are to forgive yourself for not being perfect, you should forgive others. Now, understand what I’m saying here….Forgiveness does not mean that you agree with what they did to hurt you. It just means you are letting it go because it serves you absolutely no purpose other than to cause you bitterness and resentment which only holds you back from all the good things that Life has waiting for you. Now chances are if it’s a loved one that hurt you, it’s because they’re human, never did it intentionally and they already feel terribly about it. Chances also are that their good far outweighs the hurt that they caused. If this is the case, look at that and reflect on your short comings and if you feel that you would want to be forgiven if the shoe was on the other foot. BUT, there is also a possibility that you have been hurt by someone that is toxic and spiteful, and in this case, you should still forgive them. Not for them, but for you. It doesn’t mean that you continue to keep close contact with them, but you forgive them, wish them well, and let it go. You will feel lighter and open for all the good things waiting for you in 2017.
2. Embrace your Hot Mess.
Ok, maybe I’m the only hot mess among us, but if I’m not I ask that you embrace and own your hot mess self and celebrate those around you. Allow me to explain…. The other night I came home and just rambled like an emotional, crazy woman to my husband about how I wished I could just blend in and not stick out in a crowd. Now I’m not talking about standing out because I am wearing some fabulous outfit or something cool like that. I’m talking about standing out because of the complete opposite. I’m the person that will spill sauce all over my nice dress within 10 minutes of arriving at a party because I go for the food before the drinks! I’m also the person that will trip over my own feet just walking to my car on a busy street, but have run and trained for marathons and not fallen once. I’ve also been known to spill, break, drop something expensive at a fancy dinner party because it’s how I roll for some unknown reason. And then there’s all the times, my family looks like a walking commercial for birth control or abstinence when we’re out in public and doing what we do best, which is standing out and unintentionally making it known we have entered the building. So after another night of just being “me”, I came home frustrated from it and told my husband I just wanted to not be “me” and just for once not be a complete disaster in public. He laughs, then I get frustrated because he’s not agreeing with my overly-dramatic self and yet if he did, I’d probably tell him he’s awful so he really couldn’t win in the situation. Anyways, he tells me he wishes I could see myself how he sees me. He tells me that he loves how I’m just myself and that I’d be exceptionally boring if I were any other way. It didn’t click that night as I continued to remain in my pity party for one. But I thought about it more the next couple of days, and this is one of the things about myself that I have worked so hard to embrace so why am I suddenly wishing it all away. I’m smart, funny, have a HUGE heart and work really hard to be a better person every day. So what if I don’t come in one perfect little package all nicely wrapped in a perfect little bow? I’m more like this picture of a present that I wrapped myself. Lovely, right?
The presentation is not perfect, but what’s inside is what matters most. So hopefully you are understanding that a hot mess is not a bad thing in my eyes. My hot mess means I’m human. It’s just my way of saying that I am gloriously, amazingly, and unapologetically human and I am going to work harder on reminding myself of that during those weak moments where I crave to be something that I’m not. So cheers to my fellow hot messes!! You’re perfect just as you are. Embrace it. And if we’re not already friends, we should be friends!
3. Feel Love and Show Love
Oh this world and it’s current state can make your head spin. I want to stay up on current affairs but yet it’s heart-breaking and terrifying all in one, so sometimes I just turn everything off and try to stay focused in this little bubble of my family where things feel safe and happy. And changing the world does start with loving your family and raising children that will love, accept and show kindness but it’s also important to show love, acceptance and kindness out in the world every day. Each day, make an effort to be a blessing to someone. Maybe you can tell someone needs to hear something nice, so you pay them a compliment. Maybe you send a card to someone, just because you’re thinking of them. Maybe you’re running late but you still let another car get in front of you because you know it’s really not that big of a deal and that extra minute isn’t making a big difference. Make it a point in 2017 to do something good each day for someone you know very well, and someone that you don’t know well at all. You will be feeling love and showing love which will inspire others to do the same. Besides it’s impossible to feel anything but happy when you do a good deed from the heart.
4. Do Something that Excites You and Terrifies You.
Do you have an idea or a goal that you’ve had in your mind but you keep pushing it away because you’re scared and feel that you’re notcapable of doing what it takes to achieve it? If it keeps popping back up in your mind and it’s not going away, chances are you’re being called to take some action for a purpose. Your fears won’t go away so if you’re waiting for that to happen you’re kidding yourself. Even if you had all the resources to make it happen, if it’s a big goal or dream, you’re still going to be scared. That’s what makes it awesome!! Make a simple move towards the idea or goal each day. Don’t overwhelm yourself and just do something. Once you tackle one small task, you’ll feel productive and more confident. Remember that it’s ok if it takes awhile and doesn’t happen overnight. The time was going to pass anyway and it’s better to move in the direction of your dreams than to just stay in the same place you are and kick yourself a year from now that another year went by and fear held you back. Be brave, be bold and just take one teeny-tiny step towards that goal and I promise it will excite you and motivate you to go for more. BUT, you won’t get excited or motivated by just thinking and wishing.
5. Focus on the People, not on the Stuff.
You’ve heard it a million times, “The most important things in life are free.” If you keep saying to yourself that you’ll be happy once you get that bonus, that bigger house, that fancy car, that vacation home, or take that big trip, you are kidding yourself. I have found that stuff does not make you happy. It actually can make you more miserable because you usually find that it didn’t have the outcome on your happiness as you had expected so you become more miserable and focus on the next big thing you’re “certain” will finally make you happy which doesn’t and then you’re in this ugly cycle until you decide to smarten up. Hopefully you do this before it’s too late. Focus on those around you that love you. Focus on those beautiful children, pets, spouse, family members, friends and the moments made with them. Life is about the moments, not about the stuff. If you had a choice between the stuff or the people, you’d pick the people every single time so remember that as they’re right in front of you now.
6. Enjoy Life Now.
Bring on the new year’s resolutions to lose the weight, get healthy and be more organized. I wish for you that you stay focused on what you want to accomplish in the new year and manage to do it all without forgetting to live in the moment and enjoy life. If you keep thinking about what the scale will read at your next weigh-in after you drank that extra glass of wine and you’re torturing yourself while faking a smile and pretend to listen to a friend you’ve waited forever to sit and catch up with, why did you even go out? If you’ll only buy yourself a cute outfit and feel good about yourself, once you reach that goal, then what the hell is the point?! If you only tackle half of the clutter in your home, and something really fun comes up that means you would have to stop and enjoy life, I say do it! Sure, an organized and clean home feels good but I can bet they won’t talk about how clean and organized your home was when your time is over on this planet. They’ll DEFINITELY talk about good and fun memories created with you. Make small changes and don’t overwhelm yourself. You’re more likely to stick with your plan and reach any goal you set for the new year that way. Suck the fun out of life with being rigid and having zero balance, you will fail miserably. Life is all about balance. Enjoy it while improving upon the things you’d like to change, and you’ll stick with it.
7. Be Grateful Every Single Day.
Not every day is great, but every day there is something to be grateful for. Be grateful and recognize all of the blessings in your life. Appreciate the little joys every day and you’ll stay open for more gifts to come into your life. With a grateful heart, you’re more positive and see the bright side easier than if you just sit back and complain about all that you don’t have or has gone wrong. If you have your health, a roof over your head, and someone that loves you, you are blessed and have the main tools needed to work towards solving any problem you may have. Recognize that and help others to do the same.
I wish you all of these in the new year! Remember, 2017 will be what we make it. We hold all of the power. Love who you are, love those around you and kick fear in the rear! Cheers to a FABULOUS 2017!! xo
